Strange Bedfellows
by Kaynara
Summary: Extended fluffy ending for War Stories MI, KS, ZW
1. Chapter 1

Strange Bedfellows: Part 1

By Kaynara

It's Joss's 'verse; I just borrow it...

---

Inara pressed her warm face against the cool infirmary door. From her position in the door frame, she watched Simon work. He moved with his sister's grace in this room, feet dancing over the floor as he acted as needed, clear-headed and competent, never hesitating here. He jumped when he saw her standing in the doorway.

"Lao-tyen." He took a breath. "Shuh muh. I'm sorry."

"And Kaylee said you never swear, doctor." She smiled but it was forced. Even though he was exhausted, legs aching and fingers cramping from hours of surgery, Simon could see the red streaks in her eyes: the ones she tried to hide behind thick dark hair that waved halfway down her back. Usually she was flawless, a heady male fantasy materialized in flowing gowns and shining jewels. Today her dress was blood-stained, crimson marks she hadn't bothered to wash out, memories from earlier when they'd carried the captain on ship.

"Sorry," he said again, but she wasn't listening. She'd drifted over to Mal, who lay sleeping on the table.

"How is he?" She stared down at him, careful not to touch. He looked unnaturally peaceful, childishly innocent. How odd that the end result of hours of torture would be this: the restless captain finally resting, dreaming morphine dreams while the doctor did his work.

"He's…well." Simon appeared at her side, adjusting a tube in Mal's arm. "Amazingly well, considering…." Considering what that monster had done to him. But Simon left the last part unsaid.

"So no permanent damage?" She watched his chest inflate and sink, soothed.

"Everything seems to be in tact. And I gave him a pretty thorough examination while he was out."

"Perhaps you should refrain from mentioning that when he wakes up, doctor. Mal's…well, Mal. Vulnerability's not his strong suit."

"I've noticed. Anyway, he'll be sore for a week or two. Bruises, dehydration—I'm giving him intravenous for that, plus something to ease the pain. But he came through surgery nicely."

Inara met his eyes, employed her working smile. She could be very good.

"You're an excellent surgeon, Simon. We're very grateful to have you." She smiled again. "All of us."

Simon tapped a syringe, plunged the contents inside the tube feeding Mal's hand. From the corner of his eye, he watched Inara watch the captain. The pleasant countenance of the skilled companion paled at this angle. He could see the grief and maybe something more.

"H-how's Wash?" he said to break the silence. "I could give him something…to sleep, I mean…?"

The smile reappeared and she was charmed again, charming again.

"Zoe says he's fine. He's sleeping in their bedroom. Actually, that's why I came for you. They're waiting at the table. Zoe called a crew meeting."

"Oh. Alright. I think things are under control here. Let me just wash my hands."

As the water pounded in the sink, Inara took a step back from Mal, then another. Even halfway across the room, her gaze locked on the heavy black stitching and hot red skin surrounding his left ear. She remembered the last time she'd seen it, curled like a dead thing in the palm of Simon's hand. She turned fast on her heels and followed Simon out of the infirmary.

---

The others were already seated at the table when Inara and Simon arrived. Jayne was eating an apple off a switchblade. Kaylee seemed distracted, offering up only a faint smile when Inara squeezed her shoulder before sitting beside her.

"He looks better, mei-mei," Inara murmured to her under her breath. "The doctor believes he'll be fine."

Kaylee smiled but her eyes were on River, curled silently in the chair beside Jayne, watching something invisible on the ceiling. Simon was studying River as well.

"River? What are you looking at?"

"Pictures in the sky."

The others exchanged glances.

"What do the pictures show you, River?" Simon asked after a moment.

"Jayne eating an apple."

"Well, if she ain't a regular genius." Jayne waved his switchblade around before taking another bite. "That's a mighty smart little crazy girl you got there, doc."

"It was the last apple, way down at the bottom of the barrel," River continued, eyes on the ceiling. "Jayne got the last one. No one else wanted it, on account of the worms."

"Ahh!" Jayne released the knife, and it clattered down on the table. "Gorrammit!"

River laughed and grabbed the discarded apple, removing the switchblade.

"You're such an easy mark," she admonished Jayne and ran from the room, giggling, fruit in her fist.

"Why that little—"

"Shut up, Jayne." Zoe's arms were folded, business-like, before her. She nodded toward the Shepard who wandered in as River was leaving, leaned his back against the counter top, before beginning her speech.

"Okay, so with the captain under the weather, I'm the one left in charge."

"Big shock there," Jayne muttered. "You two be tighter than half the womenfolk I—"

"Jayne, finish that sentence, and I'll hurt you. Now, Kaylee and I been talking. Apparently we're a bit low on fuel, not to mention funding, what with Niska having most of our profits from the Ariel job. Now, ordinarily, I'd say we hang about these parts a week or two, do a few jobs if we can. But we got two men down, and I'd like to put more than a little sky between us and Niska's space station. No guarantee he won't see fit to come after us."

"I'll second that," Inara chimed in, shivering a little.

"Kaylee, you just come from the engine room. What's the status report on Serenity?" Zoe asked.

"She's runnin' fine, but she's runnin' low. Next fuel station's a ways from here, and if Zoe says we're low on fundin', I 'spect we oughta be conservin'."

"Meaning what, exactly?" Simon asked.

Kaylee moved her shoulders. "Meanin' we don't push too hard. Turn the heat down some, maybe all but off in a few rooms."

"That still won't be solvin' our cash flow problems," Jayne interjected.

"True enough, but we still got some medical supplies left over. We'll try to sell them when we get where we're goin'."

"Assuming we get there," Simon added. "Assuming we get anywhere."

"Which is why we're gonna cool things down in here, doctor," Zoe continued. "So first thing's first: we're gonna have to double up on bunks. Easiest way I see it is to shut down all the passenger dorms, take the civilians into the crew quarters, least for tonight. We've got some cots and some pretty warm army blankets. Shouldn't be too terrible."

"We'll I ain't got no problem bein' noble," Jayne spoke up. "You're welcome in my bunk any night, Zoe."

"Touching. Jayne, you're gonna host the Shepard, if'n he's agreeable."

"Jayne and I will be fine, Zoe," Book said with a nod.

"That's shiny, then. Now, the Captain'll sleep in his own room, and maybe you'll stay with him, doctor…."

"Uh, that's not going to work, Zoe."

"You got a problem sharing quarters with the captain, doctor?"

"No, of course not. Normally, I'd be eager to have a slumber party with Mal, as we've grown so close these past few months. I mean, he hasn't punched me in the face in, oh, at least a week and a half."

Kaylee and Inara exchanged amused glances. All that operating must have left him punchy, Kaylee thought. She'd never seen him quite so...ironical.

"I'm gonna think on hitting you, if you don't get to the point, doctor," Zoe warned.

"And I'm gonna laugh when she does it," Jayne added.

"Don't laugh; you're next," Zoe advised.

"My point," Simon said slowly, "is that the captain just came out of surgery. He's unconscious and sedated. I suspect he'd have some trouble navigating his ladder in this state. So unless you want to drop him down on his head—hey, we can drop the IV stand right on top of him."

Zoe sighed. "Doctor's right. Okay, Inara. I know that shuttle yours, and we don't have the right to impose guests on you, but…."

"Of course Mal can stay with me, Zoe. Although I don't imagine he'll be very pleased with that arrangement."

"Mal expressing displeasure?" Simon muttered. "No! He's such an agreeable sort."

"I'm acting captain; he can come to me if he's got a problem. Doctor, can you help get Mal set up in Inara's room? Then you should get some sleep yourself. You get sarcastic when you're overtired."

"And where exactly am I to sleep?"

"Simon's welcome stay in my bunk," Kaylee piped up. "I-I mean, if he needs a place. Close to everything, so you can check on the captain in the night."

"Well that there's mighty generous of you, Kaylee. That's one giving girl, ain't she dotor?" Jayne asked. "That one be always giving, giving, giving…."

"Jayne." This time Inara and Zoe spoke in unison.

"Actually, I think that's a fine idea, Kaylee," Zoe continued. "Thanks for offering, honey. That work for you, doctor?"

"I don't want to impose on Kaylee. I mean, wouldn't that be a little…a little…." He looked around the table for help. Inara dropped her gaze pointedly to the tabletop. Jayne just smirked. "What about River? Where is she to sleep?"

"The captain's room, of course," River announced from the doorway. "He has soft pillows." Barefoot, she moved gracefully across the floor, set the pilfered apple, now just a core, in front of Jayne. "Yummy worms," she said and giggled again.

---

Simon took River to the captain's room first.

"Careful on the ladder," he warned as her small frame descended behind him. He glanced around Mal's room, sighed. "Well. This is just…four-star. Don't touch anything you don't have to, mei-mei."

"Sharp?"

"No, just…." He skimmed a slender surgeon's finger over the surface of a shelf. "Dirty."

River rolled her eyes, muttered something undistinguishable in Chinese. She bounced twice on Mal's bed before falling back against the pillows.

"Well, I don't see any loaded weapons lying around. Don't kick off all the blankets tonight, okay? Kaylee says we have to turn down the heat to save fuel."

"Mmm, I like it in here. It's very comfortable. Left or right?"

Simon hesitated at the foot of the ladder. "Sorry?"

"Gotta choose your side of the bed. I hope you're wearing clean underwear."

Simon felt his face go warm, a sharp contrast with the already cooling air on board.

"River."

"I'm very sleepy, Simon," she said cheerfully. "Go away now."

---

Inara's shuttle was perfectly still, utterly silent. It was also freezing. She huddled beneath the blankets—more soft and silky than functional in actual cold—and stayed carefully on her side of the bed. Once, she made a bet with herself that the captain would never end up in her bed. Clearly, that was a bet she'd lost. Lying on her side, face cupped in one palm, she watched him sleep. Mentally, she traced his features: the strong, imposing nose, the mouth for once quiet, at ease, the shadows his lashes cast on his cheeks. Simon had wheeled in the IV stand to the corner where it stood now, a harsh reminder of the circumstances that brought him to her bed. Not that she needed reminding. She could see the bruises by the star light.

---

They lay shoulder to shoulder, unmoving in Kaylee's narrow twin bunk. Pressed against the wall, Simon shifted to get more comfortable. The length of his arm brushed hers. She felt like cool, aquamarine silk.

"You know, I really don't mind sleeping on that cot," Simon said quickly.

"Naw, course not, Simon. That wouldn't be…proper," she teased.

"Proper. Right. Is this what you always sleep in? I'm sorry, forget I said that."

"You like it?" Kaylee flushed a little, pulling at the fabric of her bodice. "'Nara gave it to me, said it didn't fit her right anyways. Too big probably, she bein' so tiny and all."

"It doesn't look too big for you. I think it fits you perfectly."

Kaylee raised her eyebrows. "You callin' me fat, Doctor Tam?"

"What? No, no! I didn't mean—I just—I only—"

She threw her head back, laughing. "Aw, Simon. You're just so easy."

Simon sighed, dragging his eyes away from the spot where lacy blue nightgown dipped down to meet skin. "So you've said."

---

She'd overheard Wash telling Zoe about the torture room. What must Mal have thought when they left him there, left him to Niska? Did he think he would die? That they'd abandoned him? Did he lose hope? She stared at his hand, the one resting on his abdomen, tubes feeding him medicine, wellness. She wanted to bring that big hand to her face, feel the warm fingers spread over her cheek. She wanted to trace his palm lines with her lips, hold his hand in hers, assure him he was saved, safe. She wanted him to kiss her and move those strong hands down the sides of her body. She wanted to feel the full weight of him on top of her, pressing into her. Just the two of them, there, everything else vanished. She didn't particularly want him to wake up.

"Inara." He could smell her incense before he could make her out in the black.

"Yes?"

He glanced around, eyes adjusting to the darkness. He finished assessing the room, returned his gaze to her. She flushed as his eyes traveled over her red nightgown, settled on her face.

"I knew you'd find a way to get me in your bed."

The sleeping Mal-child disappeared. The captain was back.

"Gorrammit, woman, if you aren't 100 percent predictable."

"Yes, Mal it was all a plot. I just had to have you. You idiot. You know, you can leave any time—"

"I knew it," he was saying, as thought she hadn't spoken. "And I'd make it worth your while, goin' to all that effort just to bed me, except just now I can't feel my legs."

She felt her stomach drop.

"I'll get Simon." She threw off the blankets, started to reach for her robe.

"Inara." He grabbed her wrist, and she shivered at the contact. "I'm kidding. Not a part of my body I can't feel right now in way too shiny detail," he said. He readjusted himself on the pillows, wincing. Why did he have to fight with her? What made him do it over and over?

She disentangled her arm and flung the robe back in disgust.

"You're psychotic."

"You're the one wearin' some flimsy scrap of lace when it's cold enough to grow penguins in here. When did my ship enter an ice age by the by?"

"We're having a small fuel crisis. Kaylee and Wash felt it would be best to conserve heat, shut down some rooms entirely. We all drew bedfellows. Somehow I was fortunate enough to host you."

"One lucky girl. Who'd Jayne get?" he asked, curious.

"He's sharing with the Shepard."

"I'd pay to see that."

"You don't have any money, Mal."

"Ain't that the gorram truth. Where are the doc and lil' sis?"

"River's in your room. She seems to like it there; you may have trouble getting it back. And Simon's with Kaylee."

"Oh, wo de ma!" He felt an odd sensation, not quite anger, in his gut. "Whose jing cai idea was that?"

"Kaylee's, actually. And I for one am thrilled. I lent her a nightgown."

"I'm sure you did."

"And what does that mean?"

"Don't mean nothin'. All I'm sayin' is she ain't you. Shouldn't be prancin' about in some low-cut, see-through slinky thingamajig."

"But it's alright for me to wear them?"

"Oh, I sure as hell didn't say that." It wasn't, surely not. "But at least you've got some sense in that head. Lil' Kaylee don't know any better than to follow that doctor around like a lovesick puppy dog."

"I'm quite sure Kaylee knows what she's doing, and that she's done it a time or two before."

"I don't need be hearing that. I've said it before, Inara. Shipboard romances are a bad idea."

"Did you tell your wife that before she kissed you—I'm sorry, poisoned you, that is?"

"Hey, now. I thought we weren't gonna bring that up again."

"And I thought Simon's drugs would last longer!"

"You know, I ain't the only one fell for Saffron's wily charms. As I recall, you shared a moment with my blushin' bride as well."

Inara sniffed. "Like she could play me. She wishes."

"Then why'd you faint?"

"I kissed you, you idiot!"

Once again, silence descended upon Inara's shuttle.

---

Trying to be subtle, Kaylee snuck glances over her shoulder. Simon lay on his side, facing the wall. She found her eyes drawn to the spot where his hair dipped down to tickle the nape of his neck. She wanted to put her lips right there, slide her arms around his middle. And in a perfect, shiny 'verse, he'd grab her hands and hold 'em tight against his chest. She threw her head back down, disgusted. He'd been in her bed—she checked her watch—twenty-eight minutes, and still nothing. Okay, so, he was Simon. Not exactly Mr. Spontaneity. She hadn't expected him to rip off her borrowed nightie and jump her or nothin'. But he coulda had the decency to brush up against her a time or two. What kinda guy didn't even feel a girl up under the covers?

Simon decided River would soon be known as the sane Tam. At least, that's what would happen if he spent another five minutes staring at the wall of Kaylee's bunk. He should be exhausted. He should be dreaming a deep, satisfied sleep, resting calmly after a job well done. So what was wrong with him? Why couldn't he sleep? Perhaps because she'd just brushed his foot beneath the blankets.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"No, I'm sorry," he said quickly.

She hesitated. "You are?"

"I—what?"

"Forget it." She rolled to face the other way.

"Right." He said it under his breath, exhaled. His eyes found the cracks on the wall that resembled Jayne's face. Groaning, he started to turn. "Kaylee—."

"Awww!"

She'd turned at the same time, and their heads hit.

And then he was bleeding from the nose all over her pink and blue teddy-bear-print sheets.

---

"Inara."

"Bi zui. Just shut up, Mal."

"Didn't your mama teach ya to be nice to one-eared freaks?"

Inara's gaze dropped, softened. "Well, lucky for me, you still have the two."

Mal raised his hand to grope at the side of his face, as though he didn't quite believe her.

"Huh. How'dya like that? The doctor do this? Didn't figure our infirmary had the supplies needed for this sorta handiwork."

"It didn't. The councilor had a few connections."

Mal met her eyes, held them a moment.

"I'm sure you can find some way to thank her for me."

"I'll do that," she said, the sweet smile contrasting sharply with her tone.

"Shiny."

Mal felt the tension roll over them in waves, let it roll out before continuing.

"Kinda too bad, though. Woulda been fun to torment Kaylee, chase her around and make her look on me way I was."

"She was upset, Mal. She cried when they brought you on board."

Mal was silent a moment. "I don't need be hearin' that. I got no desire to see that girl hurt."

"She wasn't the only one who cried."

Mal reached out a hand as though to brush off the tears from hours earlier. Halfway to her cheek he stopped, dropped his hand to the bed.

"I'm half glad I don't remember. If I kissed you once, I don't 'spect I'd stop."

"Mal."

"Hey, how was I, anyway? I mean, me bein' unconscious and all weren't really fair. Why is it I'm always wounded when you and I wind up in compromising spots?"

"You were fine, if a bit unresponsive."

"Not what you're used to, I'm sure." The words were out before he'd though them through.

"Why do you insist on tormenting me?" Inara demanded. "You don't do this with the others. Why must you always fight me?"

Mal was quiet a moment. When he spoke his tone was low, the teasing edge dead.

"Because you meddle inside me," he told her. "Because when I'm with you, I can't breathe quite right."

Inara turned to stare at the ceiling.

Continued in Part 2


	2. Chapter 2

Strange Bedfellows: Part 2

By Kaynara

---

"Ow." Simon bent forward, hand clutching his face where it had made unpleasant contact with Kaylee's chin. In the quieter moments, he'd spent a reasonable amount of time imagining himself and Kaylee face to face, facing each other, parts of their faces touching. Sometimes he allowed himself to think about touching other parts of her as well. Of course, his nostrils hadn't been gushing blood in those scenarios. He'd been coy and suave. He'd beguiled her with his witty repertoire. She hadn't been hovering over him in a blood-stained green nightie, trying to push bits of tissue paper up his nose.

"Aw, honey." She leaned in, trying to assess the damage.

"I'm okay. Really, it's not that—"

"Sweetie, you're bleedin' everywhere. Let me take your shirt off." He wasn't sure if that look on her face was guilt or amusement as her hands moved up his torso, dragging the material with her.

"Ow, ouch." The collar of his shirt caught painfully as she tried to raise it over his head. He wondered vaguely what would kill him first: the humiliation of bleeding all over her bed or utter mortification at the way his body was responding to the touch of her fingers on his bare chest.

"You just lay back here 'gainst the pillows. That better?"

"Oh, yes. The pain's gone now. It's a miracle." He met her eyes, watched her blink at him in a baffled sort of way. "I—I didn't mean…it's not your fault. I was just trying to be…funny. Forget it."

Kaylee smiled, set his ruined shirt aside.

"Zoe was right. You do get awful ironical when you're cranky."

---

Inara stared up at the roof of her shuttle, listening to Mal breathe beside her, close enough to feel the heat from his body bounce off hers. She was inches away from his shoulder, a hand's reach from his hair. How far away were his lips?

"Inara—"

"Mal, you've been through something terrible." The words poured from her lips, quick, nearly tripping in their rush to get out. "You're not well. You're saying things without thinking them through!"

"You're not wrong 'bout that, I suppose. Still, don't make what I'm sayin' any less the truth."

She met his eyes unwillingly and turned away just as fast. She was no stranger to being the object of a man's desire. Men had begged to touch her, given her gifts, dresses, discreet deposits to her bank account many times over. Why in the great wide 'verse did she want this man. This infuriating, embittered, emotionally-distant, complicated, aggravatingly-attractive man lying on her bed covered in bruises and battle wounds, wanting for once to share his feelings. What exactly had Simon done to him in that infirmary?

"When's the last time you chose someone, for you I mean."

"I'm not a whore, Mal. I choose all my clients."

"That ain't what I'm sayin', and you know it. When's the last one meant somethin'? C'mon, Inara, has there ever been a one you didn't have to fake it for?"

She turned her eyes glassy, imposed a serene smile on her perfect lips.

"I don't have to fake it with any of them."

Though it tore at his midsection to do so, he rolled to face her, hovered over her.

"Is that right?"

"That's right." She flashed that lovely, schooled smile once more, though her shoulders were retreating into the mattress. "Now if you don't mind, I could use some sleep. Busy day in the morning with all my whoring."

"Inara."

Her lips shook, the smile wavering, but she caught it fast.

"You think I don't see the sadness in you? You think I can't tell a part of you's hurtin' underneath all that fancy make up and those flouncy dresses?"

"I'm not ashamed of what I do. I'm not ashamed of anything."

"Oh, yeah? How about the part where you violated me whilst I was drugged unconsciousness on the ground?" His voice rose at the end. "You 'shamed of that?"

"That was an oversight in judgment."

"Yeah? Oversight this."

Ignoring the wicked pull from the needle in his hand, he rolled over, bringing his mouth down hard on hers.

---

Simon's nose had stopped bleeding. He hadn't said anything idiotic in almost half an hour. And as a reward he had Kaylee's head resting friendly-like in his lap, giggling up at him while he told her stories from college, from his childhood with River. At one point, she laughed so hard that tears formed at the corners of her eyes. When he brushed one away with the tip of his finger, she went silent, the laughter ceasing, her eyes going wide. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful but chose a story from med school instead, pleased when she bit down on her lower lip, stared up at him as though he were fascinating. As though he were everything.

---

He could drown in her.

She couldn't let him.

"Mal." Inara draw in a ragged breath, let him kiss her again. "We shouldn't be doing this, Mal."

"Bi zui. Shut up." His mouth came down on hers again. How often had he wondered what she'd feel like beneath him? He'd envied those folk who got to find out, hated them, hated her at times. He'd hate himself in the morning.

She arched her throat, inviting his lips there. His mouth was so rough, but his hands were gentle. They moved over her face, cupped her cheeks, slid down her neck, over her shoulders, arms, wrists. He stopped suddenly, supported himself over her with one arm. She blinked, dragging in air.

"Zao gao." He bit down on his lip, ripped the IV from his hand.

Inara winced.

"That's somewhat improved." He put his newly freed hand on her belly.

---

Wash couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw that ta ma de hun dan Niska. Zoe lay beside him, his warrior woman resting, peaceful in sleep. He thought of how he'd felt when she walked into that room on Niska's space station. He recalled watching her helplessly, changed to the wall. He'd wished himself dead in that moment. He'd prefer death to watching Niska touch her. That he couldn't bear.

Touching his lips lightly to her forehead, he tugged on his pants and wandered up to the bridge to sit for awhile.

At the helm, he sat back in his chair, eyed his dinosaurs to make sure they were behaving. Something on one of the screens caught his attentions.

"Huh, that's funny…."

---

His hands were in her hair. She felt like floating.

"Uh, Inara. If this ain't all that shiny…well, we're blamin' the torture right?"

"Shut up. Just kiss me."

"Anythin' the lady wants…."

"Mal." Her fingers spread to span his chest, careful not to press too hard on the sore spots, the places Niska had hurt him. Her lips grazed gently over his jawline. "The lady wants—"

And then Mal's ear was filling with Wash's alarmed voice, overpowering Inara's soft whispers.

"Mal? Gorammit, ta ma de...wo de ma, this place is like musical bunks lately, I can't remember where anybody's sleepin'." His voice played in every corner of the ship. "Mal, wherever you are, if you can walk, get up to the bridge. We've got something of a situation here."

---

"Whaddaya suppose is goin' on up there?" Kaylee asked, head resting contentedly on Simon's lap. She didn't much care if they were 'bout to fly into a black hole. This was a good way to go out.

"Huh, I don't know. It seems like, on Serenity, something's always going on."

Kaylee giggled. "Nah, there's calm moments, too."

"Oh, yes. I can almost remember one now."

She laughed again. "What about the time…?"

"Oh, God."

"What?" Kaylee sat up, a little irked at having to take her head off his legs. Still, his tone was, well, serious.

"What if it's River?"

Kaylee's eyes widened, but she tried to reassure him.

"Naw, Simon. Wash called for Mal…if he's even awake yet. They'd let you know if it was about your sister"

"That's true. Still, maybe we should get up there. People on this ship seem to require a doctor more often than not."

"Well, okay, Simon. If you think its best, I guess we can have a look about." Disappointed, Kaylee reached for his ruined shirt, pulled it on like a robe over her similarly-stained nightie, which was a little on the sheer side for meetin' up with the others. Simon's shirt fell down near her knees.

"You look so tiny in that," he murmured as she started up the ladder. "So…well, cute."

She turned to peer down at him, halfway up the steps.

"You don't need sound so surprised 'bout it," she complained.

---

"You should really be waitin' in your shuttle like I asked," Mal called behind him on the way to the bridge. Unfortunately, he couldn't move all that quickly in his present condition, and she had little trouble keeping up.

"I'm coming with you," Inara informed him. She grabbed his arm, tugged until he turned to face her. "For God's sake, Mal. Let someone help you for once."

"When you're here, nothin' in my head goes smooth. When you're here, I can't think straight."

He watched her face change for a split second before she controlled it. Then she was unreadable again.

They both jumped as Kaylee appeared behind them in the hallway.

"Captain!" Kaylee smiled, genuinely pleased. "Hey, you're up and walkin'. It's shiny!"

"Nice to see you too, Lil' Kaylee. I—" He broke off, as Simon climbed up behind her in naught but his undershorts. For the first time he took in Kaylee's oversized shirt. No, that surely wasn't Kaylee's. He watched as Kaylee and Inara exchanged some sorta secretive looks.

"Captain—" Kaylee tried, but he cut her off.

"Oh, this is just…." He held his breath, counted, eyes on the ceiling.

"Tell me, Inara," he tried again when he was slightly calmer. "Why in the 'verse did you feel the need to give Kaylee that fancy nightgown thingie?"

" 'Nara." Kaylee rolled her eyes in Mal's direction, in a gesture that plainly asked, what'd you tell him for?

"And you, somethin' wrong with your clothes?" Mal asked, whirling in her direction. "Some particular reason you need to be wearin' the doctor's shirt steada your own?"

"Mal—" Simon started.

Kaylee listened intently, wondering whether he'd leap to her defense or go with the usual stutterin' and denial. I'd never…not with Kaylee. She rolled her eyes, annoyed in advance.

Mal was on a roll, furious at everyone, no one. "And you, Doc—why can't you put on some gorram clothes? My not payin' you enough? You gotta walk around without your trousers? By the way, thanks for the ear doctorin'. Don't think I'm not grateful. Still, would it kill you to wear some gorram pants on my boat—?"

"Oh, forgive me, Captain. Going by your attire, I assumed the dress code was on the casual side this evening. I wouldn't want to offend your delicate sensibilities by—"

Inara rolled her eyes.

"Mal—" she tried.

"—What's the doc ramblin' about?" he interrupted.

"Mal, look down."

Mal glanced down, blinked when he saw his undershorts instead of the expected trousers.

"Huh." He tapped his knuckles against his bottom lip contemplatively, shot Kaylee a dirty look when she giggled. After a moment, he leaned toward Inara, whispered, "How come nobody told me I'm not wearin' any pants?"

"Since when can anyone tell you anything?" she replied sweetly.

"What in the gorram hell's goin on out here?" Jayne's voice boomed around the corner before he appeared, stopped short several feet away. He appraised their outfits for a few moments in dead silence.

"Good God, Mal," he said at last. "You all havin' some crazy orgy or somethin'?"

"Just get up to the bridge, Jayne," Mal said, patience rapidly fading from his tone.

"What's going on?" Simon asked.

"You's all actin' crazy-like, standin' round in your underwear," Jayne answered.

"I meant," Simon said dryly, "what's happening on the bridge. Is there a problem?"

Mal laughed, shortly. "Isn't there always?"

"It's not River…." Simon started.

"Your sister's fine, Doctor."

"You need me in the engine room, Captain?" Kaylee asked.

"Not just now, Kaylee. You an' the doctor stay put in your bunk 'til I say otherwise." Mal raked his eyes up and down Simon. "And in the name of all that's merciful, find the boy some pants." He turned to follow Jayne down the hall.

"Mal." Holding her robe closed, Inara ran after him.

"Inara." Turning around he sighed, pressed a hand to her cheek. "Go on back to your shuttle. Don't you see? I can't be havin' you here." He studied the gridwork of the floor. "Please, Inara. Just go."

She did as he said, turning quickly so he wouldn't see the look on her face.

He watched her retreating figure disappear down the stairs.

---

"Well, great." Simon sat down on Kaylee's bed, stretching his arms back behind him. "What are we supposed to do now?"

Kaylee shrugged, pure wide-eyed innocence. "Play doctor?"

---

Inara returned to her shuttle alone and closed the door. She sat on her sofa—the bed had the smell of his soap, the imprint of his head on her pillows. Slowly she drew her knees up to her chest and, lowering her face to her hands, began to cry.

---

Wash let out a breath, leaned back in his seat.

"We're in the clear folks," he said into the intercom. "I return you now to your regularly scheduled programming." He released the 'com, met Mal's eyes.

"Looks like they already stopped somewhere for dinner."

"I think it's almost breakfast time, Sweetiecakes," Zoe said, rubbing his shoulders.

"Yeah." Wash spun around in his seat. "You know what? This day sucked."

"I'd say that's a fair assessment." Mal rubbed absently at his ear.

"Glad to have you up and about, Captain Sir," Wash said, affecting a serious tone.

Mal smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, you too."

Jayne cleared his throat from the doorway. "Hey—I'll be in my bunk if you all need me. Gorram Reavers, interuptin' a man's sleep at this hour. Mal, Wash…uh, good to see you boys on your feet again." Without another word, he turned and strode out of the room.

"Wow, that was almost civil," Wash commented.

"Sir, you mind if we get some shut eye?" Zoe helped Wash, still a little sore, out of the chair.

"No, you go on. Get outta here." Mal eased down into Wash's chair. "Crazy kids."

"The tyrannosaurus is angry, he's going to nibble your toes." Wash grabbed one of his dinosaurs and chased Zoe out of the room.

Mal listened to Wash's oddly-disturbing growls mingle with Zoe's shrieks of laughter fade as they moved out of earshot. He sat alone in the cockpit, staring out into the emptiness of space. They'd been lucky with the Reavers twice now. But the Reavers were inching toward the core, spreading into his sky a little more every day. He wondered how much more luck his little ship had in her. One of these days that luck was gonna run out. The Reavers wouldn't stay away forever.

Mal watched the black fly past him, span unendingly before him as Serenity flew toward her next destination. And he thought of Inara's hair, dark as space, as mysterious and as enticing, falling forward around him, curtaining him, hiding everything. It was a long time that night before he could think about anything else.

The End (for now)

This story continues in Bedlam: Part 1. Feedback much appreciated!


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